This show inspires me to have sex in space
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Randomize
