If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Buhtt sex?
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
