I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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