After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
