Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
