Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
