I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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