dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Randomize
