White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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