if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
