How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Randomize
