Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
