I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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