I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
