remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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