And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
