Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
