update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Barsexuality is the new black.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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