So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
