I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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