what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
