you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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