R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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