ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
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