...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
