Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
