That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
