I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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