...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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