So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
