But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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