this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
