the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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