I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Randomize
