Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
this boner is exhausting
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
