ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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