My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Randomize
