Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
