if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
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