i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
