Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
