I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
