just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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