I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Randomize
