Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
