Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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