I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
