Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Randomize
