Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
