how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
