bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
