im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
