aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
