i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
cat food counts as protein by the way
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
