true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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