Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
